A Letter to Him

To the one I quietly admire from afar…

Even though our story never truly began, you’ve etched a place in my heart. There’s a softness in you—your gentleness, your humidity—that continues to linger in my thoughts. When I stood beside you once in “that” place that I’ve been there, surrounded by laughter and friendship, I felt something rare—something safe. Even if it was only for a fleeting moment, I carry it with me like a quiet warmth.

I know, we live in different worlds now, with distance and complexity between us, and though a part of me still have a hope for another time, another life—where we might find each other again—for now, I choose peace. I choose to release what never had a chance to grow. But in that release, I do not forget. I send you silent wishes for healing, for joy, for love—wherever life takes you.

I thought that I was feed my delulu. But I really felt something different when I met you twice. I don’t even know what’s the name should I give to this connection.

To the one who I called Mr. Starbuck, in another life

If I have a chance to live another life, maybe in that life, we won’t be strangers tangled in timing. I want to be close to you. Maybe, our souls learning how to say goodbye before we say hello.

Maybe there, you’ll hold my gaze a little longer and I won’t have to wonder if you feel what I do. There, the silence won’t be so loud. Your gentle smile won’t come with distance.

In that version of us, we’ll sit side by side in a little cafe, not worlds apart with oceans in between. We’ll laugh without counting days and talk without pretending we don’t feel. I won’t have to carry this love in the shadows of my heart—it will be safe in your hands. Held…returned…

But for now, in this current life, I’m trying to let my feelings go with grace. Not with bitterness. Not with blame. Just love. The kind that never asked for anything but still whispered “thank you”

Until we meet again…

When the stars remember us better…